Ansh has never had playmates his age. In our building, there is not a single kid even close to his age. So besides the friends he meets in school, his playmates have been us grown ups.
Last year, one of Abhi's worker's son ,Moin, came to stay in our building & Ansh had a great time with him. It did not last for very long as Moin had to return back.
Now, this year our guard's(whom we call "dada" in the house) son has come to stay & will be here permanently. Now, this child is 10 years old & has become Ansh's best friend. Ansh is so obsessed with him that he wants his company 24X7. He cries even when he goes away to have his food. In fact these days Ansh does not want to accompany us anywhere coz he wants to stay at home & play with his friend. Last week he was reluctant to go to Pari's birthdya party & asked us if we could collect his "return gift" for him.
Now, this would have been fine with me except that the age difference between the children is not healthy. Since this child is of lesser means, there are other problems too. For eg, he is obsessed with TV since he does not have access to this at home & so most of the times, he would just watch TV instead of playing & that upsets. Also, he is very destructive & has broken many of Ansh's toys. There have been other instances where he would blackmail Ansh to get his chocolates if Ansh wants him to stay.
So I am totally confused. One one hand, Ansh loves to play with this boy & on the other hand there are all these issues. I have lost my temper with Ansh several times because of this other kid. Yes, I have been the garbage truck. I hope things resolve themselves. Any suggestions?
6 years ago
7 comments:
I think i would feel the same way as you. I would not allow it either, even if it is hard. Atthis tender age, I feel things can go wrong. Learn wrong values which do not fit into your way of thinking. I would try to aviod their meetins as much possible and tell him in a good moment the whats and whys.
I guess easier said than done. Since this boy is someone he looks up to, you cannot just say he is bad boy, but be more tricky, I guess.
On the other hand, I guess it is not possible to break the contact completely, as this is the only boy to play with. Maybe you could talk to the boy and tell him a few things clearly and say if he does not follow them then the boys don't meet. Include their parents as well. Does it make sense? Just brainstorming! Hope I could be of some help :)
hmmmmmmmmmm its a tricky situation but one things sure i would have felt equally confused.... i would suggest talking to boy and making him understand the workings of ur house... i am sure he also wants to come to ur place more often because of the comforts etc... stopping ansh to play with him might give him the wrong message of the status divide
@PG- You are right. I know it in my heart that his company is not good , but when I see the joy on Ansh's face when this boy is around, I tend to re-think. Yes, I am goint to have a talk with him & see how it turns out.
@Monika-You are right. Thanks for chipping in. IT really helps to get all your opinions. Parenting is tough!
It's a tricky situation - at this impressionable age, it's easy to imbibe things which are not desiable. But I understand Ansh is fond of him - really at a loss here.
@mystic- I guess things will resolve themselves . just have to wait & watch.
hmm ..it is a very tricky situation when your child loves someone not able to see his/her evident flaws and your common sense tells you against it.
I think I would pin point to both the boys about our household rules and the need to follow them if they meet as often as they do. I think I would also try to make him understand the black-mailing happening. I think if you are generally taking care of him by giving him some snacks or food or the likes, he has no reason to blackmail Ansh for chocolates.
Can you take Ansh out to the park and/or arrange playdates with his friends so that the interaction with the said boy decreases.
@ Neera- when this kid is home, he has teh same thing as Ansh gets. Things are turning better now. Thanks for your suggestions.
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