I am feeling like crap. I feel so weak. I feel betrayed by own own emotions. Why do my eyes not listen to me when I ask them to keep in the tears? They betray me everytime!! Everytime someone gets to know that he has the powers to bend me & abuse me. Yes, abuse. Abuse does not only mean physically hurting someone. Abuse also means making an emotional mess out of someone. Raising your voice, shouting- these are also forms of abuse.
And for what???? For something that I said & he completely mis-understood. And I did not even feel like rubbing in to him when I realised that whatever he had mis-understood is actually very close to the truth.
I have given "Nobody" the right to shout at me, except my parents!!
It has happened before & I tried to compromise. I can never forget the 8th of March 2008. That day is the blackest day of my life & I learnt to live with it. I coped in my own way.I took some major decisions. I killed something inside me. But somewhere during the past year, I forgot. I forgot the abuse & the pain. But it all came rushing back. I have to now learn to cope with it again. I need to help myself coz nobody can help me!!
But first my eyes have to learn to obey me!!
16 comments:
You are one strong, confident woman Monika and you will come out of such situations. Hugs to you :)
First of all a big tight hug to you girl...
I know how it feels when these men do something like this.
And about the tears..I feel EXACTLY the same..mere bhi nalke khul jaate hain however hard I try to restrain :((
oops.... firt and foremost... ek jaadu ki jhappi...
monika i know what u mean... sometimes men can be the most insensitive being on earth...
hope u get courage and strength to pass thru this and depending on the situation sometimes not killing something inside u and standing up is imp very imp...
take care girl... hugs and wishes ur way... u are one hell of a strong women u will pass thru this which ever way i am sure
many hugs!
and tears is not a sign of weakness. and you arent the only one who ends up showing them when you shouldnt.
hope you feel better soon.
hugs again.
abha
Hugs girl!
Reading this makes me so sad!
Don't ever let anyone have that kind of power over you.
You give me a call if you want to meet for coffee sometime, okay?
hugs!
I hate it when people say horrible things because they are angry. Anger doesn't justify the words that come out of your mouth in the heat of the moment.
I feel your pain Monika because so many of us have been there. I wish I knew how to lessen it for you. Take care, be strong and be happy!
@All- Thank you so much for your kind words & support. Dealing with such stuff is so tough but I am OK. The fact that he is behaving as if nothing happened is helping to lessen the impact.
Monika, I wish and pray that GOD gives you strength to cope with it..
Regards..
@Insane- Thanks
hey... its ok...
There are times when we feel very low, and we just cant find out why.
Don't worry.. everything will turn out fine.
A tight squishy hug to you :)
@Lijy-Thanks.It's great to get it out of the system.
Hugs to u dear ..and u r right u'll have to be brave urself to cope with it and I know u have the strength.
Much love and take care of urself
@Neera-Thanks.
Be strong.Dont give up.
Lingerie Alley
@Amit- Oh yes. I am not giving up.
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